Mom: You’re making me eat all this tofu, I’m going to become tofu.

Me: No you won’t *smiles*

I’ve been putting a lot of time into taking care of my mom lately. If I’m not taking care of my mom, I’m working. (Gotta pay bills and stuff, ya know.)

When I’m home, I don’t want to do anything other than sleep. I have no motivation to do anything for myself. I just seem to be tired and exhausted all the time. I’m constantly thinking about sleep to the point where I think to myself that if I don’t wake up, I’ll be OK with that. I’ve probably mentioned that already in another posting, but it’s one of the things on my mind lately. There are other times when I want to trade places with my cat. LOL! Just so I can sleep all day and not worry about anything other than food.
Anyways…where has my motivation gone? Why can’t I put in the same amount of time and effort I put in other people into myself? *Sigh*

K, Thx, Bai

I’m feeling very defeated right now.  My mom is being stubborn and doesn’t want to do everything I need her to do.

I need her to eat more tofu to boost her protein to help her get through this infection.

I need her to take better care of her exit site wound.

If anything happens to her, I’ll feel SUPER bad and will probably blame myself for all of this.

All I want to do is go to sleep and not wake up. =\

K, Thx, Bai

I feel that my life is officially over. I’m heading towards becoming a full time care giver for my mom. Is this what I’m meant to do with my life right now? There are days when I want to be selfish and say, “Screw you, I’m going home!” And then just drop all of my responsibilities. Then again, it’s my mom’s life that’s on the line here.

Please keep praying for us.

K, Thx, Bai